bishop--> bay area--> san diego--> bishop
driving through the mojave with "i wanna dance with somebody" by whitney houston BLASTING and singing at the top of my lungs. oh my gosh that was so much fun :)
swimming in the ocean and getting slammed by the waves. trying to body surf. getting high off life watching the sun set over the pacific.
heart to heart with the brother. sitting on the carpet and talking.
spending an evening catching up with old friends and old flames.
brain exploding with information about fire. unlimited coffee and breath mints.
wandering the streets of san diego, people watching, exploring the night life, poking fun at aweful cover bands.
listening to hip hop really loud so that i can stay awake in the car.
getting attacked with love by PooDookie and spooning after. waking up with a paw in my face and by best friend beside me :)
December 5, 2008
November 22, 2008
on the porch again...
sitting on the porch with fresh air in my lungs, music in my ears, and hot tea in my lap is one of my favorite things to do. it is time for me... time to talk to good people and time to think to myself. i get to reminisce about the past and dream about the future, whether it is just tomorrow, 3 weeks or 3 years from now.
well, where will i be in 1 year? it will be fun to go back and read what i write now 1 year from now. i can say as much as: i'll probably be out of bishop, going on to my next adventure. learning more and experiencing more. india? nepal? oregon?... another small town in california? who knows...
i have had a lot of time to think these past few days. spending hours on end in a trailer in the middle of the desert by yourself will do that to ya... i miss my friends and family. i miss spending time with people who are familiar. i miss that warm feeling of vegging out on a couch crocheting and watching happy movies... sipping hot chocolate and munching on some fresh baked goods. i miss walking at night crunching through the frosty leaves and talking about... stuff, anything really. i miss cooking huge meals and singing to bad music at the top of my lungs. i miss cuddling up with pooka. i miss climbing with my old buddies. the list goes on.
... but along with everything that i miss i realize that all of that isn't really gone. i still have all of that. i still have those opportunities and the memories are still alive. it's hard to not focus on the past because it's always the good times that stick out... but when you really think about it there have been some pretty shitty times too. and to be able to look back and see that you've survived it all is quite hopeful. like i've said time and time before: people have come and gone in my life, hearts have been hurt, doubts have taken over, and everything in between... but life goes on regardless and things turn out okay in the end. knowing that is quite comforting, actually.
i have no idea where this rant came from. i guess sitting out on the porch does that to you...
the smells in bishop are now familiar.
well, where will i be in 1 year? it will be fun to go back and read what i write now 1 year from now. i can say as much as: i'll probably be out of bishop, going on to my next adventure. learning more and experiencing more. india? nepal? oregon?... another small town in california? who knows...
i have had a lot of time to think these past few days. spending hours on end in a trailer in the middle of the desert by yourself will do that to ya... i miss my friends and family. i miss spending time with people who are familiar. i miss that warm feeling of vegging out on a couch crocheting and watching happy movies... sipping hot chocolate and munching on some fresh baked goods. i miss walking at night crunching through the frosty leaves and talking about... stuff, anything really. i miss cooking huge meals and singing to bad music at the top of my lungs. i miss cuddling up with pooka. i miss climbing with my old buddies. the list goes on.
... but along with everything that i miss i realize that all of that isn't really gone. i still have all of that. i still have those opportunities and the memories are still alive. it's hard to not focus on the past because it's always the good times that stick out... but when you really think about it there have been some pretty shitty times too. and to be able to look back and see that you've survived it all is quite hopeful. like i've said time and time before: people have come and gone in my life, hearts have been hurt, doubts have taken over, and everything in between... but life goes on regardless and things turn out okay in the end. knowing that is quite comforting, actually.
i have no idea where this rant came from. i guess sitting out on the porch does that to you...
the smells in bishop are now familiar.
November 4, 2008
my legs hurt from dancing
las tortugas dance of the dead
holy shit... 4 days of music, fun, drugs, sex, and rock 'n roll... minus the drugs and sex. haha.
jam bands, bluegrass, country, blues, rock and roll, funk, jazz, reggae... you name it, they got it.
crazy costumes, rainy and wet, beautiful forest, music 'tll 4am, pot, fire, yum.
c'mon it was a damn hippie fest for goodness sake! what do you expect...
i've decided that dancing to funky jazz is my favorite type of dancing. and that dancing is great exercise, and that moving with the beat of music is good for the soul :)
'till next year turtles... 'till next year.
holy shit... 4 days of music, fun, drugs, sex, and rock 'n roll... minus the drugs and sex. haha.
jam bands, bluegrass, country, blues, rock and roll, funk, jazz, reggae... you name it, they got it.
crazy costumes, rainy and wet, beautiful forest, music 'tll 4am, pot, fire, yum.
c'mon it was a damn hippie fest for goodness sake! what do you expect...
i've decided that dancing to funky jazz is my favorite type of dancing. and that dancing is great exercise, and that moving with the beat of music is good for the soul :)
'till next year turtles... 'till next year.
October 12, 2008
hot cocoa and a fire
It seems like just a few weeks ago it was blazing hot in the afternoon sun… wait, it really was. And it seems like just last week the aspens were turning and fall was on its way… yep that happened too. And yet last night it was 29 degrees outside. That week of autumn was great… Winter has barged right in, hit me in my numb face and froze my feet off. The mountains are snow capped, the boulders are like big blocks of ice and the crisp cold air is filled with burning fireplaces. I can see my breath in my room but out here in the…uh… foyer (no longer can I bask in the warmth of the summer porch) the cold is cut by the warm fire our little fern made for us. It’s crackling, hissing and glowing… and feels so so good. But I’m still in my down jacket, long johns and wool socks.
Heh! Wasn’t it just a few days ago we were waiting for the “perfect conditions” to go climbing? It was too hot… boo hoo. Well, let me tell you… the weather is freaking cold now! Who the hell climbs when they can’t even feel their fingers? What kind of crazy mongrels would put their digits through such pain and agony? Besides yours truly, it seems as though everyone and their mothers come to the east side. My days of running from the sun, seeking the shaded routes and being the only one at the buttermilks are gone... For now. They will leave, we’ll get our rocks back… and pick up their cigarette butts, beer cans and dog shit, and wipe off their god damn tick marks! Okay… I’m done with being a snob.
It’s official. Bishop will be my home for another year. It’s comforting yet still very scary to wrap my mind around the concept of actually living here. I’ve become accustomed to considering this job and this lifestyle as a type of extended summer vacation. Not quite reality or a real life, really. It’s just been a whirlwind of happenings that I was able to get lost in. I’m not referring to “lost” as in no direction, but “lost” as in bouncing around with not much of a worry. Pretty soon I’ll have to consider this experience as a real job, get my shit together and focus… because I’ll need to so that I can stay in tip top toxicology shape! That is the price I have to pay so I can say NO to 9 to 5, 5 days a week in a lab dousing little brine shrimp with polluted affluent water. I delved deep and thought hard… I came to the conclusion that I still need to fuck up a few more times and make some more mistakes. I need to explore my options because right now is the time to be wrong and know it’s okay. Right now is prime learning time. And what better way to pursue that than to work with lovely people, an open and willing office, knowledgeable bosses/coworkers who offer a vast range of opportunity, and endless rocks just outside the door?
I was told that whatever decision I make: stay in bishop, move on etc… will be a good one. There is really no bad options… they are just vastly different. And that is so true. What is one year?... that’s no time at all. That is just a quarter of what college was. And how fast did college fly by? Damn fast. Heck… 6 months since I took this job and moved out here has almost passed. One year is one year… I can’t spend too much energy focusing on that far into the future. What’s important is now because right now is happening.
Heh! Wasn’t it just a few days ago we were waiting for the “perfect conditions” to go climbing? It was too hot… boo hoo. Well, let me tell you… the weather is freaking cold now! Who the hell climbs when they can’t even feel their fingers? What kind of crazy mongrels would put their digits through such pain and agony? Besides yours truly, it seems as though everyone and their mothers come to the east side. My days of running from the sun, seeking the shaded routes and being the only one at the buttermilks are gone... For now. They will leave, we’ll get our rocks back… and pick up their cigarette butts, beer cans and dog shit, and wipe off their god damn tick marks! Okay… I’m done with being a snob.
It’s official. Bishop will be my home for another year. It’s comforting yet still very scary to wrap my mind around the concept of actually living here. I’ve become accustomed to considering this job and this lifestyle as a type of extended summer vacation. Not quite reality or a real life, really. It’s just been a whirlwind of happenings that I was able to get lost in. I’m not referring to “lost” as in no direction, but “lost” as in bouncing around with not much of a worry. Pretty soon I’ll have to consider this experience as a real job, get my shit together and focus… because I’ll need to so that I can stay in tip top toxicology shape! That is the price I have to pay so I can say NO to 9 to 5, 5 days a week in a lab dousing little brine shrimp with polluted affluent water. I delved deep and thought hard… I came to the conclusion that I still need to fuck up a few more times and make some more mistakes. I need to explore my options because right now is the time to be wrong and know it’s okay. Right now is prime learning time. And what better way to pursue that than to work with lovely people, an open and willing office, knowledgeable bosses/coworkers who offer a vast range of opportunity, and endless rocks just outside the door?
I was told that whatever decision I make: stay in bishop, move on etc… will be a good one. There is really no bad options… they are just vastly different. And that is so true. What is one year?... that’s no time at all. That is just a quarter of what college was. And how fast did college fly by? Damn fast. Heck… 6 months since I took this job and moved out here has almost passed. One year is one year… I can’t spend too much energy focusing on that far into the future. What’s important is now because right now is happening.
October 2, 2008
my 2 cents...
one of my biggest fears is settling into something, then getting bored and wanting more. having stability yet still being stimulated is difficult to maintain and being satisfied versus wanting more is a delicate balance that is hard to achieve. i think that it is good to want nothing and to be happy with what one already has. however, wanting more is a key feeling that propels action... action to make things happen. wanting is the cause of change and change is often an aspect of life that one learns the most from.
one philosophy that i have yet to master or even really put into practice, but truly believe in, is to live for today and live it full.
one philosophy that i have yet to master or even really put into practice, but truly believe in, is to live for today and live it full.
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